"We learn how to balance a chequebook or we learn how to change the oil in our car and we have no idea and no conversation around what to do with self-doubt.."
Tara Mohr is a women's leadership and wellbeing expert who specialises in helping women to 'play big' which is also the name of her book, which was named by Apple's iBooks as a "best book of the year" when it was published in 2014.
She has been featured in the New York Times, the Today Show in the US, Harvard Business Review & Oprah.com.
To Tara, the concept of 'playing big' simply means to be more loyal to your dreams, than your fears which is something we all strive for.
Tara noticed, even at an early age, the gender differences in society and even went so far to organise a fundraising campaign at school to make sure books featuring girl's stories and characters were included in the school curriculum.
A degree in English literature from Yale and an MBA from Stanford University together with her coaching certification has given her a unique mix and perspective on how to deal with your Inner Critic.
Your Inner Critic is the voice you hear inside your head, all day, every day, that is telling you what you should and shouldn't do and what you can and can't do.
Tara's philosophy is that we don't need more confidence; rather, we need to learn to live with our fear, self-doubt and Inner Critic and keep taking action that moves us towards our goals, rather than being held back by it (which is a view I share).
In this episode, we discuss:
* why equality for women doesn't simply extend to access as equal opportunity,
* the "stereotype threat" and the effect subconscious cues about gender can have on our performance; the example she gives about the maths test is fascinating. And although we didn't discuss it, it's worth considering how this extends to the language we use, especially with our children,
* how she developed the concept of "Playing Big" and what it means for you and I to "play big",
* the confidence myth (ie, you don't need more),
* how you can recognise the voice of your Inner Critic, especially when it sounds like your voice or "just how your brain thinks",
* what to do if the Inner Critic is the voice of your mother, and
* practical tools to help you start recognising and dealing with the voice of your Inner Critic so it (or she in my case) doesn't stop you from pursuing your goals.